Isn’t it funny how life can knock you flat on your ass, be so tragic and still expect you to get up and live? I have found most people who wouldn’t and couldn’t understand what you have or are going thru can be no help due to the fact they don’t understand having not gone through it. Now, that doesnt make them bad people, it just means they do the best that they can (and most don’t know what to say to you) and then continue to live their fairly normal lives.
As some of you know, I have had Ra and Fibro for many many years as well as in Stage 4 kidney disease, ( as well with other things)being 46 and having to take the meds I take and seeing Drs weekly sometimes really can suck. In the midst of all this I lost my 19 year old son just 5 1/2 years ago. Our lives came crashing down on us in a way I cant even explain–unless you have felt that loss.
Now this isn’t a post on me– or feel sorry for me–It is about something else–getting back up. My husband, daughter and I struggle with this daily–not only did his death ruin our lives to a point — we have been still—-not able to move–or breathe–happy? what is that?? stunted-tragic..see where I am going with this? We have all made small strides on our journey-but not nearly enough.
I have been a creator on YouTube for the past couple years and I love it. That is MY small step. It gives me something to focus on and all of my wonderful subs- who I call angels-are so loving and supportive and are just plain WONDERFUL!
Now my daughter Emily has started her YouTube journey. I have been telling her for years to make a video, knowing she would love it, and she finally took the plunge! She loves the interaction and sees how wonderful it is to get comments and communicate with others that she wouldn’t have met otherwise. This is a BIG step for her. She was 14 and home alone when the 4 cops came to our door with the news of her brother. We thought she would be stuck at 14 forever, but luckily this past year she learned how to drive-got her license and has been doing a bit more than she ever thought she would or could. Now she has a lot more to go on her journey but her small step is a massive one for us here…and I am so Thankful. WE are so thankful!
I have learned there is no time limit for loss-that you can be stuck for years and years- I have learned that being disabled isnt a death sentence- So many of my angels on youtube write me-scared-stuck-struggling and feeling ashamed of that- I will be writing more about chronic illness and how I deal–or dont deal–with it-as well as about my life and struggles. It is one of my most requested things–more about me and my life and how do i and I want to share my journey with you all!
Thank you for taking the time to read my babble! Below is a list of places you can find me –friend me and follow me!!! I welcome you to do so and I will follow back!!!!!
Summer is here in New Jersey and I am all about decorating outside and if I can make it myself in my style all the better. Let me introduce you to my new obsession FolkArt Painted Finishes! This product is A-MA-ZING! You can turn any piece of wood, plastic, metal and a variety of other surfaces into a faux Barnwood, Concrete, Moss, and Rust finish. If you are like me I use them all together because more is never enough! These also make beautiful additions inside your home as well. Here is a video I recorded with me doing this project. I hope you enjoy it and try the painted finishes yourself.